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   Descent BB Forum Index > Ethics and Commentary > Dear Somali Pirates, Fuck off and Die. Thanks. Post new topic   Reply to topic
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Bunyip
DBB Staff




PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 7:37 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

I just read something that kinda pissed me off...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41715530/ns/world_news-africa/?gt1=43001

Quote:
Pirates vow revenge
Two Somali pirates who spoke with Reuters by telephone Tuesday said the hostages were ordered killed since the pirates themselves were under attack by U.S. forces.

."Our colleagues called us this morning, that they were being attacked by a U.S. warship," Mohamud, a Somali pirate, told Reuters. "We ordered our comrades to kill the four Americans before they got killed."

Pirate leader Farah, speaking from Bayla, a pirate haven in the northern semi-autonomous region of Puntland, vowed to avenge the deaths and capture of his comrades.

"I lost the money I invested and my comrades. No forgiveness for the Americans. Revenge. Our business will go on," he said, adding he had spent $110,000 so far in the hijacking, including on weapons and food and salaries.


OK these fucking mutts, these ragged steaming arseholes, these putrid excrescences dribbling down the flanks of Africa, these cretinous thug scumbag pukes really piss me off.

Let me get this straight - you ATTACK and HIJACK marine vessels using force of arms (an act called 'piracy' punishable by death for most of history), you MURDER helpless innocents after holding them hostage (Punishable by death NOW) and somehow YOUR fucking rights have been violated to the extent that you are owed recompense and vow revenge? FUCK you.

I have news for you fucking fucks: If you live by the sword, you will most assuredly die by the sword. You're playing a very high risk game, and you rolled craps. The only reason there aren't aircraft swarming over all of your so-called "mother ships" ready to launch hellfire missiles is because you have been conducting business peacefully for the most part - which is idiotic. If it were me, I'd have Q-Ships healthily seeded into the mix and they would shoot to fucking kill. Trials are messy, expensive and time consuming and the Somalia coast appears to have become a (*cough*) wretched hive of scum and villany... so the odds of you being convicted are nil anyhow. I'd sink the mother ships too. Kind of hard to cruise around looking for victims 100+ miles offshore without a mothership. So please, make it clear you intend to attack more American shipping. Let's see how that works out for you. You fucks.

_________________
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it, or who has said it,
not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense. - GAUTAMA BUDDHA
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 7:51 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Dear Somali Pirates, die from our toxic waste or our warships. Your choice.
Avder
Hotshot




PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:14 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Whats our Navy up to these days? I say we declare all of the somali coast a no-shipping zone, get some aircraft carriers down there absolutely loaded with armed UAV's, sink every pirate ship we can see with them, and send some Ship-to-Surface missiles at that "semi-autonomous" region of theirs.
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 10:24 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Avder wrote:
Whats our Navy up to these days?


Same thing everyone's up to these days, m8: no good.
Avder
Hotshot




PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:21 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Neo wrote:
Avder wrote:
Whats our Navy up to these days?


Same thing everyone's up to these days, m8: no good.


Whens that post nuking button getting put in?
Beowulf
DBB Staff




PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:49 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

I'm with ya man. As if Africa didn't suck enough. Not to mention I'm sure taking these bastards out wouldn't be a terribly difficult proposition. They're not hiding in caves or in rugged terrain - they're on boats in the middle of the ocean. Torpedo these fucks and lets move on.

_________________
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Pun
DBB Admin




PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:22 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Avder wrote:
Neo wrote:
Avder wrote:
Whats our Navy up to these days?


Same thing everyone's up to these days, m8: no good.


Whens that post nuking button getting put in?


I was joking at first, but now... :/
Woodchip
Ace




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:12 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

So when are we going to put bait ships out there crewed by navy seals. Nice 40' yacht complete with .50 barrets, Heckler & Koch machine guns and body bags.
Krom
DBB Admin




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:52 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Beowulf wrote:
I'm with ya man. As if Africa didn't suck enough. Not to mention I'm sure taking these bastards out wouldn't be a terribly difficult proposition. They're not hiding in caves or in rugged terrain - they're on boats in the middle of the ocean. Torpedo these fucks and lets move on.


Wrong! Torpedoes are expensive, better to have helicopter gunships patrolling and take them out with the mounted 30mm guns, much more cost effective. (The pirates aren't worth blowing up with torpedoes.)

_________________
(19:11) [D3k]Gooberman: pffft, I didnt get owned baal, you just got 60 lucky fusion shots
Bunyip
DBB Staff




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:26 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Woodchip wrote:
So when are we going to put bait ships out there crewed by navy seals. Nice 40' yacht complete with .50 barrets, Heckler & Koch machine guns and body bags.


We think along the same lines. Nice juicy target. Secretly heavily armed.

Bunyip wrote:
If it were me, I'd have Q-Ships healthily seeded into the mix and they would shoot to fucking kill. Trials are messy, expensive and time consuming...


I'd up the ante, with some explosive ordinance, but same page.

In an interesting side note, I recently had the opportunity to attend the AUSA Winter Symposium and Exposition which is essentially a military technology convention. No need for torpedos, or even manned choppers, when they have THESE jobbies:

UAV Helicopters with 24 hour endurance and a 2000-mile range, with 8 hard points for delivery of ordinance such as hellfire missiles... The Boeing Hummingbird is ready and able to reach out and touch some motherfucking pirates. (and yes that's a cruise ship in the background (and a chinook off to the side!)

_________________
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it, or who has said it,
not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense. - GAUTAMA BUDDHA
Grendel
Ninja Admin




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:45 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Ah, the next war is on the horizon...

_________________
Borders? I have never seen one. But I have heard they exist in the minds of some people. -- Thor Heyerdahl
Durch einen Stich bereits geschafft, erschlafft und ohne Saft und Kraft! -- Donald, examining a Deflator Dextrospirillus
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:05 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Who didn't see this coming? Smile
Zuruck
Ace




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:44 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Better yet, let's just patrol all oceans worldwide at the same time! I'm sure our military can do that AND fight two wars AND keep the peace in 177 countries. Fuck yeah!
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:10 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

let's petrol all the oceans... good plan.

Next objective: convert Somalia to a nuclear waste "storage" facility "or we'll kill you"
TheWhat
Insane!




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:16 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Besides not having the resources to be on a yacht in the Indian Ocean at this time, I simply wouldn't. There are real fuckin' pirates off the coast of Somalia, a lawless nation in the midst of civil war, complete with extremist religious factions that actively hate some of the people within the diaspora (use it twice a year) of their own religion and mob kill other religious practitioners altogether.

It's not victim blaming, but fucking watch CNN the last 3 years you jackass with a bigboat. REAL PIRATES. THAT DO IT FOR MONEY. STAY AWAY EL STOOPID-O.

**edit** I meant off the coast of Somalia not the entire Indian Ocean.

_________________
Richard Dawkins stole my woman with his big evolved dick.
Woodchip
Ace




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:48 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

I'm with The What on this. Just how did these people plan their vacation. did they ever read the news or just read Nat Geo and think of all the wonderful wildlife they were going to see? Did the know but choose to think that something as tawdry as pirates capturing them would never happen? Really, who in their right mind would want to take a ship let alone a sailing vessel around the horn of Africa? Incredibly naive or incredibly stupid.
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:24 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

war isn't about religion anymore 9_9
TheWhat
Insane!




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:32 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

i gotcha.
after all these years i finally saw a map. The Suez canal; it's no vacation spot. It never was. I say thats like dropping me in Compton with no fork.

_________________
Richard Dawkins stole my woman with his big evolved dick.
Spidey
Hotshot




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:48 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Grendel wrote:
Ah, the next war is on the horizon...


Police Action. Wink

.........................................

“let's petrol all the oceans... good plan.”

Isn’t that BP’s job?

_________________
Better to be pissed off, than to be pissed on.
Spidey
Hotshot




PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:50 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Zuruck wrote:
Better yet, let's just patrol all oceans worldwide at the same time! I'm sure our military can do that AND fight two wars AND keep the peace in 177 countries. Fuck yeah!


“America’s Navy: A Global Force For Good”

_________________
Better to be pissed off, than to be pissed on.
Bunyip
DBB Staff




PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 6:36 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Anyone bobbing about in the vicinity of Somalia in a pleasure craft gets an automatic Darwin Award, that's for sure. There is a lot of legitimate shipping that passes through that region however, and it is not like there is an alternate route for much of it.

Is it our job to protect everyone's shipping? No. But protecting our own shipping achieves an equivalent outcome so why not? To be honest, I'm equally outraged at the pirate attacks on other nationalities as their attacks on Americans. I'm just hoping that they've finally "woken the sleeping giant" with this heinous, unprovoked murder of innocents. Stupid innocents, but innocents nonetheless.

And yeah it will feel good to kick some pirate ass by proxy (or perhaps vicariously)...

_________________
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it, or who has said it,
not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense. - GAUTAMA BUDDHA
Thorne
Ace




PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:54 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Hell, I say we get the same group back together that the DBB sent after Bin-Laden way back when and turn our attention to the pirates. The pirates will be dead, the hostages will be eternally grateful, and the guns and boats will be our spoil!

_________________
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;
for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going."
Avder
Hotshot




PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:26 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Thorne wrote:
Hell, I say we get the same group back together that the DBB sent after Bin-Laden way back when and turn our attention to the pirates. The pirates will be dead, the hostages will be eternally grateful, and the guns and boats will be our spoil!


Spoils? Theyre using surplus, broken down weaponry and repurposed fishing boats. Those arent spoils, those are dangerous pieces of garbage.
d3jake
Ace




PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:12 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Perhaps the spoils have spoiled?

_________________
"You don't need a deity floating among high with a huge fucking bat to understand the difference between right and wrong." -MD-2389
Thorne
Ace




PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:39 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

You may be right, but we're talking about pirates here. If there are no spoils at all then they must be pretty sorry pirates.

Don't pirates usually have gold? Wink

_________________
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;
for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going."
Bunyip
DBB Staff




PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:01 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

They do make millions in ransom....and any vessel captured in the act of piracy is automatically forfeit under the laws of the sea - meaning that you would share any prize money. Smile

_________________
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it, or who has said it,
not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense. - GAUTAMA BUDDHA
Krom
DBB Admin




PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:02 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

You know, probably the best and cheapest way to do this would be to call up all the deer hunters from the midwest and tell them "It is Somali Pirate season, go get em for $5000/head."

The pirates would go extinct overnight.

_________________
(19:11) [D3k]Gooberman: pffft, I didnt get owned baal, you just got 60 lucky fusion shots
Thorne
Ace




PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:40 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Wouldn't it be hilarious to see a large cruise boat teaming with rifle-wielding American hunters leaning over the rails trying to get the first shot at a pirate boat? It's times like this I sure wish I could draw. Laughing

_________________
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;
for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going."
Woodchip
Ace




PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:33 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Thorne wrote:
Wouldn't it be hilarious to see a large cruise boat teaming with rifle-wielding American hunters leaning over the rails trying to get the first shot at a pirate boat? It's times like this I sure wish I could draw. Laughing


Perhaps in all this there is a computer game
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:31 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

If you read mass media, expect to get ticked off... cause and effect, my love. Au revoir.

Spidey wrote:
Police Action. Wink

.........................................

“let's petrol all the oceans... good plan.”

Isn’t that BP’s job?


The Navy doesn't want to wear the black hat, mate.
Thorne
Ace




PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:34 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Woodchip wrote:
Thorne wrote:
Wouldn't it be hilarious to see a large cruise boat teaming with rifle-wielding American hunters leaning over the rails trying to get the first shot at a pirate boat? It's times like this I sure wish I could draw. Laughing


Perhaps in all this there is a computer game

I'd buy it! Better yet make it a mod. That's be even easier.

_________________
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;
for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going."
CORD
Hotshot




PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:45 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

THINKING ABOUT TAKING A CRUISE?






L u x u r y C r u i s e L i n e s


Now Accepting Reservations! Additional cruise information available below.




The Point Cruise Line is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise,
along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia




Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route

Rates and Availability






Ship Name Starting Price
Days
Availability
Sun Splendor $5,200.00
5
Fully Booked
Grand Voyage $6,150.00
7
Reservations Available
Horizons IV $7,091.00
10
Reservations Available
Horizons III $5,200.00
7
Fully Booked
Grand Voyage II $6,300.00
7
Fully Booked
Grand Voyage III $5,200.00
5
Reservations Available
Coastal Paradise $5,200.00
7
Reservations Available
Coastal Paradise II $8,200.00
10
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Peril Princess $5,200.00
7
Fully Booked
Peril Princess II $5,200.00
7
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We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea ,
and disembark in Mombasa Kenya , seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room)
and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).





You'll relax like never before!
That's because you are welcome to bring
your own arsenal with you.
If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith.
Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon,
with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!


But the best fun of all, of course, is...




...Pirate Target Practice!
The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!




Weapons rentals:






Weapon Selection
Price
Description
AK-47 Light Assault
$12.00
Per Day
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day
with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
M-16 Full Automatic
$25.00
Per Day
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo
attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:
Barrett M-107 50 Caliber
$59.00
Per Day
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo
affordably priced at only $29.95.
RPG Launcher
$175.00
Per Day
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day
with three fragmentation rounds included!
A true favorite among pirates, rent one today and show you care!





Customer Testimonials
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two,
and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"-- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda , MD
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental
at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!





Additional Cruise Line Services

* Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour.
(spotting scope included, but gratuities are not)
* Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment -
and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am
* Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar




OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE!




We guarantee you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates
or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa .

How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia ,
thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever.
In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility
by Somali mother ships.
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast .
At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes, with loud disco music
directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.




ACT NOW!
Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before Oct 31st and get a great bonus -
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BUT THERE'S EVEN MORE!



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"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates...
they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim...
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!"

This was a cruise line ad parady (sp) that was floating around somewhere. I took out the pictures to conserve bandwidth.

_________________
Don't be so openminded that your brains fall out.
Woodchip
Ace




PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 7:23 am View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Classic
Thorne
Ace




PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 7:26 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

Yes! Great post. Laughing

_________________
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;
for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going."
Neo
[deleted]




PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 6:48 pm View user's profile Reply with quote Send private message

CORD wrote:
THINKING ABOUT TAKING A CRUISE?
L u x u r y C r u i s e L i n e s
Now Accepting Reservations! Additional cruise information available below.
The Point Cruise Line is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise,
along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia
Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route.


I can hear the infomercial music. Smile Nice ninja delete, prick.

Needlessly long quote of already poorly-formatted previously posted content condensed. Thanks for your understanding. -Bun

You're quite welcome, Aria.
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